I have been learning a lot over the past few months. I'm now into the second semester of bible collage and right now I'm actually in East Asia as part of a missions trip of sorts. Right now I should be in bed, trying to sleep, but out of no where I've found a burst of energy and a longing to post here.
So here I am. Half way around the world, over twelve hours away from my home time-zone, for school. I have learnt a lot over the past semester, far to much and far to confusing to try to put in words. I guess a way to explain it is that I've been experiencing life. I've learnt a lot about love, and its deep complexity. I've learnt a lot about myself and who I am. Im learning a lot about God and His deep complexity, and even besides all of His complexity He is still there. He is still present. I'm trying to learn to Look for Him daily. Thats been the thing I've been working on lately.
If you want to follow some of the updates from my team here in Asia, heres a link to my schools blog, my teams post will have 'Team East Asia' in the title.
Experiencing life has been fun. I look forward to the next few months when I start to solidify plans for the near future. But I'm also trying to learn how to live in the moment. To enjoy today and to not worry about tomorrow. I find theres a fine line between obsessing and just thinking about and planning. Something else thats somewhat new, and fun, is I've entered into a relationship with a girl from school. You might question my bringing it up, but its been the focal point of a lot of my attention lately. and also, its just fun to brag a little bit because i rarely have a place to do that. But in all seriousness, even though we've been together a short while, I've learnt a lot about myself, and about love. In particular, I've learnt about how I react with it, and more about what love truly is. Bare in mind, when I talk of love here, I don't just mean the romantic love you might have for a partner, but the kind of love we should have for everyone, the kind of love that God has for us. It's hard to explain. I've come to know that love is an action. It's not necessarily a feeling by itself. Because if you solely rely on the feelings alone, you are sure to fail. because the truth of the mater is you aren't going to love everyone in the world. there are going to be some people that get under your skin and make you mad, it is true for all of us. But I've found that when you chose to love people, whether they are your enemies or close friends and family, it creates the feelings of love in your heart. That might be a bit confusing, but let me try to explain it simply: when you don't love someone, and you choose to love them, it creates love for them in your heart. It's a repeating process.
I don't really know if that makes sense, but it makes sense to me and its been something that I've been experiencing lately. It's happened with people from my girlfriend to people who quite honestly piss me off. It's something that i can't explain very well, and I'm sorry for that. I am hopeful though that you might have been able to find some truth or encouragement through my rambling tonight.
"It is good to find a lover in this life, take her to the waters and never ever leave her out to dry, but my father always sang this chord, set your eyes upon the Lord, set your eyes upon the Lord"
Evening Sun - Jon Bryant