Well... I've decided that I am going to try and go back to CLBI for their second year program. I applied and went through the intrerview process back in March, and I was accepted in May. Finally I had to decided for my self that i wanted to activally persue this. I think the school kind of forces returning students to decide by asking for a security deposite type thing (I forget the technical term for it) that is to secure my place for the fall and to asure them that i intend on going. So, some money poped up so I put that towards the deposite.
Im not really sure how I feel about it. On one hand, I was very hisitant before i finally started owning the fact that i was going to return. Its quit silly, actually. I activally avoided the topic of making a decision for a while. im not sure why, something in me was fighting it I guess, but now that I gave into what i thought was right, im kinda excited. Which is good. When the excitment over wheighs the fears i have, its a good day. the fears i have are still there, but i think that maybe the knowledge is starting to sink in, that i will be ok no matter what the school will throw at me. i survived it last year mostly intact. so thats good. whats the worst that can happen, right?
"Yes, I'm a little bit wasted.
Just like a six-string, I sing only when I'm pressured
Or when I'm alone with a rhythm and a reason.
Heading for the season of the winter coat,
Heartbeat heavy as a suicide note.
Yes, I'm a little bit wasted;
Nevermind, I'm fine, walking in a straight line,
Trying out my voice for the first time" Southbound - Sea Oleena