so im starting to figure out what this whole `being an adult` thing is all about. i mean, i excepted it all along, having to own everything about me and everything i do. even though sometimes my instincts are to run away and hide in a dark and lonely place. and its hard sometimes, to face that truth. one aspect that im really starting to notice it is with my teeth. for those that don't know im going to have to get surgery done on my jaw/jaws to move them around, and the first step with that was getting my wisdom teeth out a couple of weeks ago. and then getting braces this past Wednesday. besides being a real pain in my face, ill have to live with them for a year and a half to two or three years. what im hoping for and praying for is that the whole thing can go quicker then expected, and that my jaws stop growing, so they only have to operate on the top jaw, and not both. its kinda over whelming sometimes. and i found out that i have a border line irrational fear of going in for surgery, as the days leading up too my wisdom teeth extraction showed me. but on the day of it i know a lot of people where praying for me, cause i was able to not freak out and not have a break down or something stupid like that. i think the hardest part is that i have to try and own it, and own that this is part of me and is who i am. sometimes i would like nothing more then to crawl up into a little ball on my moms lap like i used to. but i cant. mainly cause i would probably squish her to death.
ive been meaning to update this space for a while. but every time i have an idea to write on, i always forget it when i sit down to write, or just procrastinate until dont even post. so be patient with me as i work on my procrastination. ( :
"is trying to find a meaning the point of it all, or does it dive deeper
within? maybe its just much simpler then that, could it be in that
little bit of hope. the hope in the morning when the sun comes awake, or
the smell right after a storm. The stars in the sky, the jaw dropping
effect that the universe has over my soul. the meaning of life is all
around, its in every single thing you see. the air in your chest, the
blood in your veins, its in everything."
Prelude to Life- Micah Friesen